Liveblogging the 2024 Vice Presidential Debate

Endgame

Hi folks,

Tonight I’ll be liveblogging the long-awaited showdown between Ohio Senator JD Vance and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz. These liveblog posts always get a lot of views and far be it from me to deprive the people of what they so desperate desire. You can read the previous liveblog on the Trump-Kamala debate (a sleeper grand-slam from our beloved President) here.

This election is shaping up to be a nail-biter, at least for me. Trump seems to be on a decisive upswing in the polls as the situation both in and outside of the US declines rapidly. However, the polls are probably fake. All polling data is suspect and Americas, for all their finer qualities, are both excitable and lazy. I’ve learned to never underestimate the ability of good (or not so good) people nominally on our side to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

I was always skeptical of JD Vance before he became the VP nominee. He was not my first, second, or even third pick. However, Vance has come to define himself as a massive asset for Trump on the campaign trail. He’s very sharp in hostile interviews and is one of the few politicians who can deliver the Trump line with close to the same gravitas that Trump does. As someone whose political ideology is best defined as “Absolute Trump sycophancy,” I can only celebrate JD Vance’s unwavering loyalty and apparently earnest devotion to the future of our country. Whatever your doubts may be, it’s important to put them aside for the time being and accept that with Vance with have something very good on our hands.

Tim Walz, on the other hand, is objectively one of the most pathetic politicians ever to be afflicted on the American public. Portly and visibly unhealthy despite decades in the military, Walz’s short time in the national spotlight has been marked by near-constant revelations of totally unforced and easily disproven lies spread across his political career. Walz is a walking mistral show, a perfect example of the sort of neutered eunuch slave responsible for selling out our country for decades. His bizarre overexcited mannerisms and forced enthusiasm obviously conceal a deep darkness. He is also noticeably stupid, perhaps even more so than his running mate Kamala Harris.

Honestly, I would have advised them against hosting a debate. Trump is doing very well and you have no idea what’s going to happen in a situation like this. However, if there’s anyone capable of chudding out so forcefully that it saves America, JD Vance is likely that man.

Of course, this liveblog is paid-exclusive, like all good content on this Substack. Free subscribers, what were you thinking reading down this far? You are a complete slave. You are a complete victim. You will NEVER access all this